dry Tweet

Me: Did you see just how icy these streets are?
Him: And your response was to wear high heels?

crack! Tweet

He doesn't just turn around. He doesn't just startle. He jumps and partly lands on me, arms flailing high in the air.

Me: What's up?
Him: I thought these buzzing insects were coming at me.

Falling back to sleep the next second, he makes me carve some space on the edge of the bed. Five minutes pass in pleasant snoring rhythms, and then he jumps again.

Him: I'm sorry.
Me: Why?
Him: I'm not scared. I'm just jumping.

And when I thought he was asleep again...

Him: Hello. You're welcome in this bed.

Light snoring resumes, and not long after, light jumping.

Him: Crack!
Me: Crack?
Him: Crack. Across the ceiling. Over there. It has something to do with the transmitter. Which has something to do with the statistics.

I wish I could say I asked something clever back, but I simply couldn't hold my shit together anymore and broke into laughter. Apologetic laughter, too.

Him: I really shouldn't be reading that kind of stuff in my sleep. Why were you laughing?